Thank you for th support & encouragement through my difficult times. You have been a really really good friend to me & I appreciate it.
Whatever this is, thankyou for your presence. Really appreciated.

Th movie was ridiculously boring & th dinner was so mengenyangkan. Hahaha.

Thank you for th day.

So, it has been one week since that I found out about that shit & I think Im doing very well right now. No urge to text him / call him/ whatsoever, no constant thinking about him late at night, etc. Just nothing, which I must say, Im so proud of myself. Hahaha. It was never this easy back then & I have no idea why it is right now. Probably because Ive finally realised what kind of person he truly is & maybe, I just dont want any of these anymore. Lets just hope that it will stay this way, until whenever? Haha.

I used to want you so bad. Im so through with that.

You can spend your life holding on,

or you can show that idiot who broke your heart what he is missing.

I really hope that one day, all these will finally make sense, be it on my side or his. Cause I believe things happen for a reason. Or probably, there wont be any reasons at all. But its okay.
Gotta pick myself up, definitely!

- - - - - - - - - -

And look at that smile on your face. I hope it will always remain that way, and I know it will. Thank you, nevertheless.

Worst battle: What I know vs. What I feel

I swear whatever that I found out just now was a great blow to me. It hurts so fucking much & I swear, I felt so dumb & used.

Sigh. Just recalling about it makes my heart ache. Inevitable, but Im pretty sure I will get by. After all, he fucked up & its really not my fault.

Why does it always have to be this way? Or probably, this is a sign.

I DESERVE BETTER.

I guess this time it really is goodbye.

Cause youve made it clear when you say "I dont love you anymore."

"Was it easy leaving me? Saying all th cute things, then just walking away like it was nothing. Like we were nothing. Like I was nothing."

Its ridiculously annoying how these littlest things never fails to get to me every single time. A call to ask about th whereabouts & when th answer wasnt like what he expected, there. Here comes all th "sudden" cold shoulder & unreasonable-ness, leaving me absolutely clueless about what this shit is all about. Seriously? Its really disheartening to know & to even feel this way every single time. Just when I thought things are fine / normal to be precise, this same old annoying shit just has to happen over & over again.

Really, what is this shit? Whats so hard about speaking your mind & telling me exactly whats in there, instead of telling me this bullshit about 'go and enjoy yourself outside' when you probably dont mean anything you said. Youre insecure / jealous / unhappy / etc? So be it. Why do you have to be so egoistic about it & at th end of th day, Im th one who was being pushed away as th result of your stupid imagination / assumption / insecurity / egoistic shit. And to be honest, Im not really hurt by all these poppycock attitude of his since its really nothing new. But th frustration and disappointment never fails to be arnd. Sigh.

Being angry / unhappy is one thing. But to be posting about it publicly, along with those filthy words that could easily cut me, thats really something. As much as I know how you always are when this happens, it always kills me a little bit more inside. Because words definitely dont have th power to hurt someone, unless th person means smth to you & in this case, since you mean so much to me, just estimate for yourself th emotional pain that youve inflicted on me, over nothing. I'd be more than happy if for once, you think before you speak / act, because at least, it would spare me or others th unnecessary pain, even if you dont mean whatever that you said. But again, who am I?

I really hate how you always take advantage of my weakness. Its really not okay, but whatever. One day, th time may come where you suddenly want to talk to me. But, I probably wont want to anymore.