Ive got so much unhappiness inside of me.

Th sad thing? No one understands. Its hard to pretend to be happy when youre not cause one day when you suddenly break down, it will hurt so fucking much.

And it did.

And if tears are words th heart cant express,

then Im screaming out th way I feel.

Mirror, mirror on th wall, whos th biggest fool of all? Must be the girl who cant stop crying. Or maybe its th girl who kept on trying.

I think Ive been lying to myself all these while when I said that Im sort of over him? Cause I dont think that I am. Just that I dont think about him as much as I used to, since Ive got so many things to do that will occupy my time. And yeah, we are still friends. Just that th feelings is still there, although it might not be as strong as before. Im not sure how its works for him, but thats just how things are for me. Guess I was good at pretending? Or maybe, Ive learnt not to think about unnecessary stuffs that will make me emotionally disturbed for no apparent reason. Haha. It doesnt matter anyway right cause its th last thing that I should be concerned about. Okay, idk whats th point of writing all these down but yeah, things are not as simple at it seems. But Im still trying.

I honestly look up to strong girls, who can really love someone a lot but is even stronger to let th person go. And I wish I can do th same but it takes time & lots of willpower or determination. And really, as much as I want to, a tiny weeny bit inside of me still hoped that we could somehow mend things & get back to how we used to be, cause I guess thats what made me happy most of th time, excluding th quarrelling part. Though I just cant stand th way he is at times, hes still on my mind when I know that hes not supposed to be there. So I guess that should explain how much he meant to me? Stupid much? Hahaha. But then again, whats past is past. So I guess that thought shall be left there since it belongs in th past & I must do smth about th present. And who knows, we might be together again in th future? In 5 years time maybe? Haha! Okay, shall stop this nonsensical thought. We know better that its simply impossible. Hoho. Poppycock sungguh. So thats about it for now.

Toodloons peepos.

And as for yesterday, happy supposedly 4th anniversary.

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you?

Hola hola tendang bola.

Been spending my time sleeping in th afternoon when I got home from school, cause I think Im seriously sleep deprived. And its nice to sleep in th afternoon, though I'll end up being an owl th next day though. Hoho.

Anyway, watched Life As We Know It with Hakim on thursday after school, since we've planning to watch it ever since we saw th trailer pat movie. And th movie is seriously nice. Kinda touching cause I teared a bit, hehe. But really nice la. Must watch. After th movie, trained home & he went woodlands to meet his friends. I KO after that.

After much waiting, I finally got th pics from Cik Aini. Went to nenek's house just to amek it yknow. Kalau nk tunggu Cik Aini upload, bile mau game? Haha. So, heres a bit update about th October babies birthday celebration, though I cant remember much cause its like a last week thing? I think uh. Hehe.

So on Sunday, went to nenek's house for th celebration thingy cause we've been told that there will be one. So yeah. October babies birthday celebration for Aca, Angah, Cik Aini, Adrian & one more I cant remember. Just th normal stuffs. Food & cake & stuffs. Nothing much & as usual, whenever theres camera we will start to camwhore. Hahaha. Err, (see I cant remember what else happened) thats all that I could remember? Haha. Some went off earlier while Kin & I went off around 8 plus cause I is wanna but smth at Jurong Point. Arnd 9 plus ke close to 10 gitu, sampai rumah. Yay, thats about it. Otak blank.

Pic-chas will do th talking. Nothing much here cause most are at facebook. But not all, cause th rest I havent upload & suspect kuat tak kot? Ma-lers. Hahaha. Enjoys nyah. Kalau nak, jangan malu & jangan segan. Sile mintak.

Makaseh.

[:

I have successfully went to school this whole week. Th timetable are okay? Mostly start school at 9 & end arnd 1 gitu. But with projects & stuff, obviously will balek lambat cause need to stayback & stuffs. This term kinda strict cause they're preparing us for th attachment thingy. So attendance & punctuality plays a big part. I is going to die.

:/

I seriously is not looking forward to th attachment. Haha. Can get it over & done with? And after th attachment, will be freeee~

Hoho. Okay, toodloons peepos.

:D

Hello wello.

Im still waiting to get th pics from Cik Aini to update about th October babies birthday celebration, but since she havent send it to me yet, I guess I'll just skip that post for now. Hoho. Tk best sungguh. But nevermind, I shall be a good girl & wait patiently for it okay? Hee.

Anyway, woke up late yesterday & ended up going to school for S&W lesson only. Hebat right? Haha, so semangat. But its okay. I is lazy to go buy MC anyway if tak dtg skola. So yeah. Had a trial run for 2.4km despite th fact that we've done th run before school close few weeks back. Now th teacher said tak counted. Nonsense shit can? Aiyoi. Played soccer after that & so on. Had lunch & etc. Around 1 plus gitu, off we go.

Trained from Bishan with Hidhir & Suren since they want to balek together. So, whatever lor. In th train, theres this school kid (I think abnormal a bit) who sat beside me which is at th priority seat. Its kinda weird & uncomfortable uh cause th guy's arm was like 'spread out' such that it touches mine. Then he maintain that position for idk how many minutes. Obviously I felt uncomfortable, yet Hidhir & Suren was laughing away. Funny meh? -.-

Then before he alight, hes like leaning towards me, almost lying on my lap. Sardine je. I move away obviously, then gave him one look. He got up, then alight. Buat geli siol. Hahaha. Serious shit. So, alighted at Bukit Batok & bus-ed to Ateeqs's before heading Cineleisure to watch Charlie St. Cloud. Fad & Budd was late & th ticket was sold out anyway, although when Kak Shidah arrive, it was only selling fast. So yeah. Had late lunch / early dinner at Wendy's before heading to Iluma for th movie.

Th movie was okay, kinda touching or sedih but I never cry. And what can I say about Zac Efron? Wuii, kiudnye~ Hahahahaha. His zaman HSM like kental only. Now so kiud. Hoho, sidetrack siket. Hahaha. After that, head to Fullerton there since Ateeqs wanna makan. Some time later, trained home. Thats about it I guess? Th day was enjoyed, nevertheless.

[:

Will be kinda busy with dunno how many workshops planned for us to get us ready for th Industrial Attachment. Not to forget, th upcoming tasks or projects that we need to do. Aiyoma. Tk best sungguh, serious shit. But what to do. Just get it over & done with I guess? Haha.

Inline skating later & some plan again on thursday. Huhu. Busy busy week.

Somethings on my mind, but shall not mention much about it cause it felt so wrong. Not suppose to feel this way in th first place. Haha, so whatever la. This stupid thought shall be out of my mind pretty soon, though I can sense th differences. Aiyoma. Okay, whatever.

Toodloons people.

Not every girl wants to be in a relationship. Some just want good company, a guy to vibe with, converse with & laugh with. Not in a rush. Start off simple, and let the rest find itself. Having someone to talk to and feeling comfortable around them is quite beautiful, and its a good feeling.

[:

Hola hola.

Had inline skating yesterday & it was kinda tiring I guess? Learnt all th tricks already, so yay. Haha. Nothing much. Head to PM after that & around close to 11 gitu, balek with Kin. Hoho.

Anyway, teman-ed Ateeqs shopping on Tuesday, cause she wanna buy some stuffs. So, head to Penin to buy stuffs, then off to Marina Pizza Hut for our late lunch before heading to Bugis to meet with Syamil. After makan, chillex at Esplanade there. Then arnd 6 plus gitu, bus-ed to Bugis yo. Obviously, we went blowing smoke since boleh tahan da lame tk buat laa kan. Haha. Around 8 plus ke 9 gitu, th rest came. Th rest means Fad & his friends. Hoho. It was okay la I guess? Not as awkward as I thought it would be.

Some time after that, Syamil went off. So left th 8 of us doing nothing, not literally though. So arnd 10 gitu, off we go. Th couple went off while th rest of us lepak at Dhoby Ghaut area there. Ateeqs & Pakcik Jujat sumpah mintk kene kahwin. Tk habes habes argue. Hahahaha. Play card games & stuffs, then cab-ed home. Nothing much la actually.

But th day was enjoyed, nevertheless.

Here are th pictures. Theres many that Ive yet to upload. Haha, malas. Enjoys yo.

Sidetrack.

NEXT WEEK SKOLA!

Hello wello.

Went movie-ing with Abu Mikemose (bukan name sebenar) th day before. We is 18, so we watched The Girl Who Played With Fire & I think its a wrong movie choice cause th movie is very draggy & it was 2 hours plus. Boleh tdo siol kitorg. Haha. Not to forget, I was late. Biase jugak. Was supposed to meet at Jurong East at 3, but I went out of th house close to 3. Hebat tahap maximum kan? Well, what can I say? Hahaha.

After that, head to Esplanade Library cause ni budak nak kene blaja. Paham paham laa eh. Arnd close to 9 gitu, we just lepak arnd Esplanade there & arnd 1o plus gitu, off we go. Trained home. Nothing much though.

Nevertheless, th day was enjoyed. Kau is jahat cause kau is violent. Memang mintak kene sepak. And not to forget, kau is poppycock. Hoho.

:P

x x x x x x x x

Happy birthday Angah.

[:

Hola hola.

I is going to update about yesterday yo. So apparently, went bowling with Ateeqs / Dayana / Hafiz yesterday cause Hafiz got free tickets. Hehe. Planned to meet at 1 pat JE, but I wokeup close to 1 gitu. Hebat tahap maksima right? Haha. Met Dayana arnd 2 gitu, then trained to JE. Ade budak kiud & he smile at me when I was alighting th train. So, I smiled back. Hahahahaha, okay info tk perlu. :P

Wait for Ateeqs & Hafiz to reach, then bus-ed to Chevrons. Played 1 game & Hafiz won, obviously. Maut uh die maen. Haha. I only scored 33. I is very sodeh can? Hahaha, kental tahap max. Tkpe, I dont like th Chevrons bowling thats why kalah. Nyehaha. Overall, best. Da lame tk maen bowling other than pat msn. Haha.

After that, jalan-jalan pat IMM to find cake for Kak Shidah cause we're going to celebrate her birthday. Meanwhile, wait for Shaypa to arrive also. No doraemon cake at IMM, so head to JP to get one. Dayana went off to Pasir Ris to fetch Syuk while we head to Woodlands to meet with Mak. They did some shopping pat Value, then bus-ed to Woodlands Waterfront. Missed th nearest bustop, so end up kene jalan jauh siket. Kesian Hafiz repeatedly kene panggil 'bodoh' by Mak. Hahaha.

We reached there moments later & th place is really nice. We surprised Kak Shidah with th cake & she terkejut. Hoho. Okay, here are some of th pics.

"Alalala"

Ni kitten mintak kene bawak balek. Haha, but die takot orang.

Mak went off sometime later after her husband fetched her. Kak Shidah & her boyf head to Causeway Point first to meet with Dayana & Syuk, since they wont be coming to Woodlands Waterfront. Meanwhile, we played at th playground for a while cause th playground dari tadi da panggil aku untuk datang pat sane. Hahaha. Best nyah! I finally get to play th swing. Hehehe.

[:

Cabbed to Causeway Point to meet with th rest, but dropped Hafiz at th checkpoint first cause he needs to balek. Lepak for a while, then trained home.

Here are th belen belen pictures. Hahaha.

Great day overall. I want to go to Woodlands Waterfront again! Hoho.

:D

Th rest of th pics, tengok pat fb la ye when Ive uploaded them. Selamat menanti cause suspect kuat lame lagi. Hahahaha.

Sidetrack siket.

Am currently chatting with Sharul & it feels good to revive old memories. Haha, I guess things have changed cause like he said, we used to be so close & I used to share whatever problems that I had with him. But after smth had happened last time, so we dont contact anymore. And even till now, certain things remain th same. Like th way we communicate with each other & stuff. Cool shit uh? Haha. Well, what can I say? Hahaha. Okay da.

Toodloons peepos.