Wednesday, April 25, 2012
For once, I feel so lost, not knowing what to do with my life. Nothing stable, yet so many changes.
This sucks. This has got to change. But how? And th qns is, where to begin?
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Wild Wild Wet with Syafiq on Friday. Smth that has been planned since months back, yet we only managed to do so last Friday. Other than th unfortunate event where my itouch actually got in touch with th water, resulting it to be spoilt, th day was really fun & enjoyable. Th cheap thrill, challenging each other & watching how scared he were with th rides. Hahaha kental gile & funny shit. It was so exhausting that we decided to give The Vow a pass, in case we both slept in th cinema instead. Haha, but it doesnt really matter cause th company matters more.
Nevertheless, thank you for th day!
Anyway, some shit happened & I guess it was probably a mistake in th first place to actually remain friends with an ex. I dont understand why people keep telling me "Do you know what youre doing? How can you be friends with your ex? Crazy ah?", things like that & I thought, they were just being ridiculous. To me, its like why cant I? Its not a big deal.
Then I realised, getting over it is one thing. Moving on is another. As much as we both tried to remember where we actually stand, who we really are to each other & what out statuses are, it gets really hard as time went by. All these things like unnecessary reaction over things that happened, does exists. And then we'll start to wonder, why did we even react that way when we both know that we're not supposed to & it gets so confusing. I thought, that being friends now, I can just speak my mind about whatever & treat him just like how I did to others. But somehow, deep down, I know that hes still an exception to everything because thats what he has been & he will always be. As much as a jerk / faggot / asshole that he can be, he will always be th special one & no one can replace that. And honestly, this is th only part about us being friends that I dislike, cause it got kinda complicated when its not even supposed to. All th jealousy, insecurities, ego, assumption, etc thats not supposed to be arnd in th first place, were inevitably there. And this sucks big time, having to go through all these shit once more though we werent even together anymore.
I realised that now that theres no status or whatever, my level of tolerance has been really low. I dont tolerate bullshit as much as I used to. Yes, I can see him trying but I guess some attitude is just too much for me to handle, which I think, I dont want to anymore. Somehow, it irks th fuck out of me & I just find that to be a major turn off. So, yeah. And after hours of endless argument over idk what, I guess we both have come to a mutual agreement, that we cant be friends, even. Its like we're so broken & theres really nothing that can be done to make it all okay again, even if we tried to start it off by friendship. Sucks.
Things happened for a reason & I guess, maybe we're just not meant to have each other in our lives. And thats gonna be okay. I hope.
Sigh, oh well. Labels: Im sorry but this wasnt easy, Its not suppose to feel this way
Saturday, April 07, 2012
Haircut.
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