Im not giving up, but Im not trying either.

What am I really holding on to? I have no idea.

But I guess, time will tell everything.

I cant help but to apologise about whatever that had happened.

It sucks to be feeling this way, where it seems like youre one of th reason why a couple broke up. When all your intention was to help one of them as a friend but inevitably, th other party feels jealous & insecure, because thats just how a girl is.

I have no idea why Im feeling this way even because I was clearly helping him as a friend & nothing more than that. But when I found out how miserable she was for th past few days, I just felt guilty. Not that Ive done anyth wrong or whatever, but I guess, really, I should have known.

Sucks to be feeling this way. Really.

:/

Its rather ridiculous to give a silent treatment / cold shoulder to someone youre close with, just because you lost an argument. Well, in this case, about cats. Seriously? Without considering how th other party will feel about all these mistreatment, you just went ahead with whatever unhappiness that youre feeling. While th other party, on th other hand, was so stressed up about everything, wondering why th texts & posts werent even replied. And that unhappiness itself had cause some promises to be broken, just like that.

And I know that Im in no position to say anyth or got myself involved with this. Then again, if you were to give him th attention that he needed, would he even have to turn to another friend to confide in? Its just not fair. I really hate to know about people or a person getting mistreated by others because I know how it feels like. And obviously, its nothing nice. Not nice at all, to be neglected, feeling unwanted and everyth. Then again, I guess if some were to allow their emotions & ego to control everything, then nothing is impossible right? Th silent treatment may drag to days & sometimes, turn into another... i dont know? Just some unforeseen circumstances.

Nevertheless, I apologise if partly, it was my fault. I should have known how very insecure a girl can get, if her other half were to be talking to another girl. As much as we both know our limits, somehow, th insecurities, as well as th jealousy will always be there. And th feeling sucks, definitely. But rest assured, I was only lending a listening ear, not literally. Nothing more than that, definitely.

Doubt you'll be reading this but Im really sorry okay. You dont know how bad I felt about this whole thing. Then again, my conscience is clear. Theres really nothing for me to hide.

If only you knew how very much he loves you.

Th saddest thing about whatever that happened yesterday, is knowing that youre not fighting for me.

I DONT NEED PEOPLE LIKE YOU IN MY LIFE.

FUCK OFF.

Spent th afternoon @ East Coast Park with Syafiq. Like finally, our plan to go rollerblading is on! Hahaha been planning for this since I was in attachment, but only yesterday we finally managed to execute th plan. However, it almost got cancelled halfway cause its already drizzling when we're at somewhere around Alexandra. But thank god, its not raining over at th east side. So here we are!

Had lunch @ Macdonalds before proceeding with the rollerblading itself. Funny when it comes to him cause it wasnt even close to 10 minutes of skating & hes already like "Alaa, I penat la." HAHAHAHA seriously Syafiq? >.<

And he has th tendency to stop every now & then. So much for his pit stops. Haha. Also, randomly stopping at th back when Im already so far away from him in front. So, had to patah balek and wait for him. We also sempat mandi laut out of randomness, other than th pit stops at jetty. And after we returned th skates, he had another round of "swimming" (he dont know how to swim la actually) in th sea. After that, showered & ride home. Wanted to watch sunset & gave it a pass. Supposed to watch Johnny English but th seatings were -.- already by th time we finished skating. So, watch movies online instead. Furthermore, he has to work th following day, so yeah.

Thank you for th day. Enjoyed myself & I hope you did too!

:D