Beautiful Disaster

Monday, November 30, 2009

I wish you knew | Go to post ➜

When a girl is quiet, millions of things are running in her mind.
When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions, she is wondering how long you will be around.
When a girl answers "Im fine" after a few seconds, she is not at all fine.
When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.
When a girl lays on your chest, she is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a girl wants to see you everyday, she wants to be pampered.
When a girl says 'I love you', she means it.
When a girl says 'I miss you', no one in this world can miss you more than that.
Life only comes around once make sure u spend it with the right person ;
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot.
Who calls you back when you hang up on him.
Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead.
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
Who holds your hand in front of his friends.
Who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you & how lucky he is to have you.
Who turns to his friends and says, "Thats her!"

Labels: common sense

20:55

Fazli's BBQ | Go to post ➜

After cycling

Aynn & Shiykin

Penaaaaaaaat!

F / A / S

F / S / A

Gay-ing + jiwang-ing

Sort of candid (:

As you can see, went to East Coast Park yesterday as there were bbq held by Syahidin's friend, since he will be going to NS soon laa kn.

So, Shiykin & I went there.

Starting was quite a drag. So Kin & I start to camwhore siket.

Heheh.

Then arnd mlm gitu, went cycling all th way to Bedok Jetty.

Thanks yaw for th treat & everything.

Then cycled back to our pit. More of Fazli's friends were around.

So, we played taiti. Thats th initial plan laa kn.

But sedih sungguh, Idk how to play. So end up Syahidin played it for me.

Heheheh.

After that, just lek lek & stuffs.

Then at around 1o plus, Fazli was sabo-ed. Gerek sungguh! Hahahah.

Arnd 11 gitu, off we go.

Cabbed all th way to Jurong. Heeee.

Overall, yesterday was an enjoyable day.

Tired pn ade, obviously.

And as a result, I woke up late today & will be going to school late.

Hehehe, nk mandi skrg pi skola.

And th rest pf th pics carik pat facebook ye bile da upload.

Labels: bbq, camwhore, ecp, fun, Tired

08:29

Sunday, November 29, 2009

- | Go to post ➜

HEART PAIN!

Fuck you.

Labels: Its not suppose to feel this way

10:18

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Me plus you | Go to post ➜

Woohoo, supposedly 37th.

How time flies.

Theres always that one person who will always have your heart.

♥♥♥

Labels: 37th, Havent I Always Loved You?

00:32

Friday, November 27, 2009

Ape ape aje | Go to post ➜

Yeayo. Im currently very irritated cause th internet connection is very low.

Of all times. Annoying or what?

Grrr. -.-

Blurr eh.

Shahiran / Norhan / Aynn / Shiykin

And anw, went to nenek's house just now for raye-ing.

Was okaaylaa. Ate quite alot smpai kinda full.

Heh. Spent most of th time playing lappy cause seriously nth to do.

Thats all I guess?

Will be kinda busy this weekend cause need to complete making th puppet thingy.

And not to forget, graded story-telling next week.

Gahhh, leceh pe.

Labels: nothing, Tired

23:28

Thursday, November 26, 2009

WHATEVER | Go to post ➜

What more can I say?
Im very sorry can?
D:

I seriously feel bad. I seriously feel guilty.
You keep saying its not my fault, but somehow its partly my fault.
I was th one who gave you hope I guess?
Gahhhhhh. What th fuck!

>=O

Labels: untitled

20:20

His journal entry 3 | Go to post ➜

"Like every fairytale, it has to have endings, and to every endings are happy endings.

Sadly, mine didn't turn out like those of fairytales. How i wish it would.

Sigh, it is very demoralising and very sad. It just didn't turn out like what i wanted.

Like most people would say, not everything will be done your way, that's parts and parcels of life. Yes, i do know that but i am sick of that line. Why do i always end up at the losing side when i was sincere in everything that i did? It just doesn't seem fair.

I know that i suddenly sounded like a kid, but how would you feel if you were in my shoes? I bet you would feel the same way as i do.

Hmm, now it sounds like i am pushing all the blame to you, but nope. I am not doing that and neither am i going to. I needed someone to just hear what i have to say.

In times like this, i wish that person would be you. But if i do that, i would be making you feel bad and guilty, and obviously i don't wish to do that. So yeah, through these journal entries are how i express myself in a way.

Yes, i did say we are meant to be friends earlier, but part of me just do not wish to accept that. Even though it's only been months since we met, i am already having this unexplainable feelings towards you. I know this is not logic but then again, i bet no human or scientist can ever explain how love works. And you know that.

Oh well, enough said about that. Hmm, here i am, listening to Ne-Yo's Part Of The List over and over again. Such a beautiful song don't you agree? *smiles*

Reminds me a lot about you, haha. Especially those first few meetings we had together. I shall always remember them. Oh yeah, not forgetting my first impressions of you and stuffs. Haha. Those were the great days i shall say?

Hmm, too bad that things have kind of change. Gahh, i should stop, really. Whatever it is, i hope you'll find happiness soon. If you need someone to talk to, you can always get to me. I'll always have the pleasure of bringing those sweet smiles back to your face. Hee.

Hmmm. I guess that's all for now. Till then. "

Labels: nothing

20:13

His journal entry 2 | Go to post ➜

"These running streaks of bad days never seem to end, do they? It's as if i've completely lost control of everything. I wonder when lady luck's gonna change sides. How should i approach this, gahh.

While all of my friends are enjoying their life, i'm just mixing around them trying to feel what they do.

Hmmm, i'm not saying you're the reason why or pushing the blame to you, neither am i going to. You told me, i saw it coming but i still went on for it. It's like i'm a mouse and knew that there's a trap set-up for me but i still continued on and got trapped now. Gahh, i wonder how i always got myself into these situations.

Whenever i think about those nights that i spent with you, they were just awesome, even though there were not much. They never fail to put a smile across my face. If only those nights could never end.

Oh well, no point wishing stuffs that could never come true. The thing i can and want to do right now is just to be there for you when you need it. It hurts to see you down and disturbed. I'll never know how you feel, but yeah. Whenever that happens, i'll try to put that sweet smile of yours back onto your face. That's what friends are for right? *smiles*

Though i'm not sure how am i going to achieve that, but it wouldn't hurt just to try.

Hmm,i can't think of anything else to say. I guess that's all for now.

Till then. "

Labels: nothing

20:12

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Untitled | Go to post ➜

Love me or leave me,

I know my heart cant take this pain.

We had something so beautiful,

but now its not th same.

Labels: Its not suppose to feel this way

18:00

Untitled | Go to post ➜

"I cannot stress this enough :

If you arent being treated right by a guy, dont wait for him to change!

Ditch his sorry butt ;

Disgrace to th male population.
And find someone who will treat you with utter respect,
someone who will honor your morals.
Someone who will make you smile when youre at your lowest.
Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes.
Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel.
Someone who will stop what they're doing just to look you in the eyes,

and say 'I love you' & actually mean it.

Give them nice guys a chance, will ya. "

Easier said than done.

Di-curik dari blog seseorang.

Labels: common sense

17:16

Thoughts | Go to post ➜

I dont know why th hell am I being this way. Its like I really want to be nice to you & stuffs.

But at times, I just cant help it.

I will have th urge to just be damn unreasonable & get mad at you over th slightest things, when I do know that it doesnt really matter actually & it was of no big deal.

Sickening much? Obvious enough.
Initially, I wanted to get back at you for all th hurt & pain that youve caused me in th past.

Revenge much? I guess so. But I guess I just cant do it anymore.

Whats th point of trying to hurt you but in th process itself, I ended up hurting myself even more & some other innocent people? More to just being stupid eh.

And not worth it at all.

Therefore, sorry for all th hard times that Ive purposely caused you to go through.

Sorry if I made your life difficult. Sorry if I was very unreasonable.

Sorry if I have been very unfair to you all these while. Sorry for everything that Ive done, just to spite you.

What you told me yesterday made me thought hard.

You said that you didnt even care about what Im doing & stuffs.

If so, why does your body language potrays otherwise?

Why do you even show that you cared, when you claimed otherwise?
Fuck your ego. Fuck your stupid excuses.

Someone once said, I am behaving more & more like a demanding bitch now. I guess I do & I dont even know how or why I ended up that way.

Part of me liked me behaving that way. But its like Im just deluding myself by behaving like someone or something Im not.

I dont enjoy deceiving myself. I mean who do, right?
But what th heck, I have no idea either why I did all these.

Gahhh! I will put all these to a stop.

Whatever will be, will be.
-_-

Labels: untitled

16:40

Continue | Go to post ➜

To someone,

Im really sorry to have so called used you all these while.

I know its not nice of me to do so. I mean, who likes being used kn?

I really really am sorry.

But th nice you are to me, th more I thought that you didnt mind.

I know you just want me to be happy. I know youre trying your hardest to help me in any way possible.

I know, its your nature that you are nice.

Cant deny that th times Ive spent with you are enjoyable & fun.

But honestly, my mind are filled with th thoughts of me & him whenever I was with you.

I guess I just need someone to hold.

I missed my past. I missed having someone to tease / joke around with and stuffs.

But no one can be compared to him, I guess?
I admit that I still do have feelings for him & I guess its damn unfair to you if this were to go on.

Once again, I really am sorry for causing you to have frustrations / moodswings / whatever it is. Like youve said, I guess we're meant to be just friends. Better than nothing kn?
Thanks for all your help & th good times that we've had. Not to worry, I will still be around if you need anyone, just like th way you have been there for me all these while.
Sighhhhh. There are lots of stuffs in my mind, but I just cant seem to be able to put them into words. Whatever laa kn.
=/

Labels: nothing

16:39

Everything & anything | Go to post ➜

1. Childrens event last friday was fun.
2. Th soccer match was okaay.
3. I had difficulty sleeping on Saturday, cause my imagination was running wild like fuck.
4. Th thingy at Science Centre last sunday was okaay, but kinda tiring. Fun at th same time laa kn.
5. I like face painting.
6. Get to jmpe Syafiq like finally on Sunday. But end up gaduh.
7. Nothing special happened on Monday in school.
8. I slept from 5 ptg till 6.3o am, out of boredom.
9. School ended early on Tuesday.
1o. Spent th time after school with Syafiq, unplanned.
11. Gaduh again, cause im purposely being difficult. Heh.
12. My sister & I were both moodless, because of guys.
13. Had fun otp-ing with them, including my sister.
14. No earpiece to school = boredom
15. I am summarising everything cause Im fucking lazy to blog panjang panjang can?

Done yaw.
:D

Labels: fun, School, Your Words Felt Like A Knife

14:54

- | Go to post ➜

Somehow, you have managed to get under my skin more than anyone ever did.

And if every hole makes a scar & every scar marks its place,

then I will never live freely without your trace.

Labels: nothing

14:48

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Whatever you like | Go to post ➜

Drink, drank, not really drunk.
Wooo, Im lovin it yaw.
Again again! Hahahah.

Youre th fucking best & I suck,
cause Im such a disappointment to you.
What to do?
I dont plan to stop anytime soon. So live with it.
[:

Labels: nothing

21:23

Saturday, November 21, 2009

7 reasons guys loves you as it is | Go to post ➜

You dont have to miss out on crème brûlée.

No need to inhale a steak on a man’s account, but we love women of all shapes —

with bodies & legs & soft things to hold on to —

and it takes food to get that way.

You don’t have to meticulously groom down there for us.

At th end of the day, its your vagina & you should give it whatever haircut you want. But “extreme maintenance” should be th name of a reality show on TLC, not smth that you do to your body.

Men have a range of tastes, everything from full monty to landing strip to a grown-out seventies bush. If its that important for your guy to be with the ridiculously clipped, stripped & shaved women of online porn & youre far from interested in going there, simply point him toward the computer & tell him to feel free to help himself.

You don’t have to make his hobbies your hobbies, and his life your life.

Doing everything together is a tried-and-true path to resentment (and breakups). My most recent ex made an effort to be friends with my friends, which I appreciated, but it got to a point where she expected to be invited when we went out.

The problem wasn’t her interest in my life—

your guy probably loves it when you stop by his boxing class or help with work problems—

it was that we hadnt figured out how to set limits. Thats why my new model couple are my buddies Jasmine and Tyrone. They know totally different people, but instead of one cramming their life into the others, they go out separately—

and catch up over breakfast.

You don’t have to become Jenna Jameson when the bedroom door shuts.

Sex isnt some game you win by constantly pushing yourself and your (or his) boundaries.

Says Charles, 28, from Boston: “My girlfriend was really into trying this move from the Kama Sutra. In order to get it done, all of my focus turned to balance, abdominal clenching and other nonsexual, lifesaving things. Not fun.”

What about all those porny bedroom antics you think we daydream about? They boil down to just that: antics.

Take deep-throating. Is it something we enjoy? Hell yes.

But do we like seeing you gag? Hell no.

Unless it’s a natural-born talent (or an interest) of yours, we’re happy to cross that off our wish list.

You don’t have to look perfect.

I would never pretend that we don’t care about the way you look. That said, a couple of things either get totally lost on our radar or completely freak us out (eyelash curlers?!).

Exhibit A: beaucoup makeup. No man in history has ever complained that a woman wasn’t wearing enough makeup. As for hair, good luck finding a guy who notices “chunky, buttery pro highlights.” And perfectly executed blowouts? For us it’s not about whether your hair is curly, straight or wavy; all we’re concerned about is whether or not we’ll be running our hands through it at midnight.

You don’t have to be the daughter my parents never had.

No use in upsetting a family’s delicate balance by going overboard with affection or baked goods. Ive made th mistake of playing along with family jokes: It’s one thing when they teased her grandma, but when I did, it became “Why does Whatshisname hate Gammy?” Play it safe.

Save the grand gestures until after the nuptials.

You don’t have to spend $$$ on lingerie.

I could write this entire article about how much I like boobs. I just like saying the word.

Boobs, boobs, boobs, boobs.

I like them in a sweater. I like them pressed up against me. I like them just sitting there, all awesome and booblike.

Please quit it with the accoutrements, the corsets, the push-ups and definitely the cutlets.

And in recessionary times, isnt it nice to know there’s no need to break the bank?

We’re already sold.

Taken from somewhere. Hahahah.

Labels: random

14:13

Friday, November 20, 2009

His journal entry 1 | Go to post ➜

" Sigh, it's been a frustrating week. Everything doesn't seem to be working out for me. Apart from missing in front goal, I felt terrible.
Sigh, maybe it's because of that 'thing' huh. Oh well. I guess some stuffs just can't be force to work out. At least i gave it a shot even though i know that it's an impossible task. I wonder what made me go for it in the first place. Hmm, no use wondering about it now, since it already took place. But then again, my mind is refusing to accept this.
Yes, it's true that i sometimes felt like i am being used after i know the situation that i'm in. But then again, all i want to do is to make you smile widely and sincerely again. Most would have said that it's dumb and would give up when it comes to making someone happy while he's not. But that's the thing, i am different from those people.
My feelings are sincere, and i really wish to see you happy again. It really does hurt to know that you're still into him, but i don't mind as long as i see that you're happy, honest.
You are really special, you make me smile when i frown, you make me relax when i am stress, you make me feel on top of the world when i'm below the ground.
Yes, you're like everything that i wanted and wished for, but sadly i guess we're just meant to be friends.
I really feel down knowing that i can never be the guy you dreamed for, but at least i could be the guy who's always there when you need someone.
Hmm, I hope you won't see this post as something you could read and forget about, but maybe just as a reminder on how much you meant to me and that i'll always be here if you need someone?
I guess by now, you might think i'm one of those sensitive guys huh? Hmm, maybe i am, maybe i am not. I'll leave that to you. But whatever it is, you said you wanted to know what i'm thinking, so here it is. Just waiting for you to read it. I hope after reading this, you'll at least smile a bit. Hahaha.
Till here then. "
- S T

I feel guilty. I feel bad.
You may say its not my fault, but Im really sorry to have put you through all these which is seriously not worth it & a waste of your time.
Gahhhhh!
=/

Labels: untitled