Tuesday, June 29, 2010
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Strength isnt about how much weight you can lift. Strength is about how much you can let your heart go through before you say "thats enough".
PLEASE GIVE ME REASONS TO STAY. Really. Cause not giving up on us just yet doesnt mean that I never ever will. Labels: Im sorry but this wasnt easy, Some things are better left unsaid
11:51
Monday, June 28, 2010
 Supposedly 44th ; 573 days since we're not together anymore.
I think I got way too attached to you. ♥ ♥ ♥ Labels: Havent I Always Loved You?
03:18
Friday, June 25, 2010
Another bad day yesterday. Had an unbearable menstrual cramp, since it was my first day. Th pain was so fucking unbearable that I can do nth but just lie down, at th same time crying in pain. Spent quite a number of times going in & out of th toilet, yet theres nth that I did while in there. Pathetic much? Felt so helpless cause theres nth I can do, as much as I want to relieve th pain. Few hours later when it was close to evening, fell asleep & when I wokeup, I felt much better though th pain was still there. I swear I hate this period of th month! D: Nevertheless, thankyou Syafiq for being there & tried to make me feel better. Sorry if I was kinda unreasonable & got angry or irritated for no reason. Much appreciated, still. Sayang kamu!
And not forgetting, sorry kitty cat if I was being violent just now. Wasnt intentional though, but youre irritating tahap max. Shall not elaborate much on what Ive done cause its sungguh memalukn. Thinking back, it was rather funny though. Hahaha, nevermind. PMS pnye pasal. Sorry ye, kesian kau tk bersalah. Naseb baek tk kene campak luar tingkap. Hahaha. Okay, shall end here. Gonna have an exciting day tmrw. Toodloons peepos. [: Labels: It hurts so bad
02:14
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
 My lesbian partner. Hahaha.
Hello wello human of th earth. Had a rather unlucky day just now. Planned to go Bugis to buy my art stuffs, since I'll be starting with my assignments soon. Biase jugak, last minute. Hahaha. But arnd 3 plus gitu, it rained very heavily. Furthermore my mum wasnt back from work yet, so cant go cause no money. She finally reached home around 6. So, Ateeqs & I start siap-ing and stuffs, so that we could meet up somewhere. Too bad, my mum gave me coins. Thought of changing it with notes at th shop at my void deck but unfortunately, they dowan. So, I very smart go & deposit th coins to my bank account, thinking that I could withdraw rightaway. But obviously I cant cause it will only be processed th next day. Smart laa sangat laa kan. Thankgod Ateeqs offered to use her money first to buy my stuffs, but nevermind. Instead, I used Syafiq's cause Ateeqs needs that money. So yeah, thanks for saving my day. Hahaha. Unfortunately, my bad moments doesnt end there. Just when I was about to topup my ezlink, I realised that my ezlink is not with me. Like whathfuck right? Im very sure that I placed my ezlink in my pocket cause I remember clearly that I did so. So obviously tercicir. Called Ateeqs & asked her to meet me at BoonLay (for what reason also Idk, waste her ezlink only). Haha. Meanwhile, I backtracked to th places Ive been, hoping that someone would return or who knows, I may saw my ezlink. But it didnt happen, sadly. Ateeqs came few minutes later & off we go to take th train. At th platform, Ateeqs accidentally stepped on someone's vomit which smells like teens spirit. HAHAHA, okay no. Obviously it smells like puke cause it is puke, and th smell also make me wanna puke. Th conclusion is, Ateeqs was with me all th way & she smells of puke. Naseb baek her perfume is nicey & can overcome that puke smell. Aiyoma. Reached City Hall & head to Bras Basah to go Art Friend to buy my stuffs. Unfortunately, th shop was already closed. At 1930 closed alrdy, nonsense or what? By th time Ateeqs & I reached there, it was alrdy arnd 8 plus. So, we took th bus to Orchard to go to Art Friend at Takashimaya instead. Itupn when we reach there, th shop was about to close cause its alrdy close to 9. Thank god th person is nice & let us go in to buy whatever we need. But I only get to buy construction paper & mask. Another issue is that th construction paper that I bought is A3 in size, padahal next to it was th A4 size. Waste money! See how unlucky I was? Eeyer. Went to Burger King @ ION to mencekik since we were very hungry. After that, trained home. Hopefully my bad day will end there. Now I need to make ezlink again, if not cannot merayap. Alaa. Hahaha. Nevertheless, thanks Ateeqs for teman-ing & thanks Syafiq for th help. Both are very much appreciated. Hee. Thats all. Toodloons peepos. [: Labels: LOL, whatever you like
23:53
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Honestly, I wasnt sure on how to react. I wasnt surprised, neither was I happy or even excited. And why wasnt I feeling either, Im not sure either. I think I was more to confused & unsure. Yeah, that was how Im feeling at that moment cause I wasnt expecting it at all, since we're not on talking terms. Till now, Im still doubtful. Were you even serious? Do you even mean what you said? I really need you to prove it. I asked, "Do you even love me, honestly?" And you said that you do, just that you didnt show it cause you were afraid that I might cheat you. In fact, I was th one who was afraid & insecure that youre th one who might cheat on me. Cause its obvious enough that youre better looking than I am. So, why were you holding back then when I didnt? And I asked again, "Do you think that I love you?". You said no, cause I was attracted to your looks only. So I guess thats what you think of me all these while? That I 'love' you because of your looks? Tsk. How long can looks last? And honestly, you werent that good-looking back then, as compared to now. You knew that I fell for you around 5 years back. So tell me, did I really love you for you looks? You didnt look that good either when you were botak, but I still stick with you. In fact, you were botak 3 times while we were together back then. But I was still there till we broke up. And Im still here. Ive seen you at your worst & whatsoever, but Im still here. Remember how I keep telling you how I will stick with you no matter what, even if it means that youre cacat or whatsoever? I believe I can do that. So tell me, did I love you for your looks only?
Its funny how everyone else except you can see how very much I love you. I was willing to do anything for you, and still do though we're actually nothing now, literally. Things like going all the way to Simei after school just to meet you despite th fact that you will have rugby training, yet I waited so that we could go back together. Cause to me, its not what we're doing that matters. Its who Im with that counts. Setting my alarm clock just to give you wakeup call when you need one, though I dont need to wakeup early that morning. Accompany-ing you to wherever when you need some company & etc. If all these wasnt an act of love or whatever that has got to do with it, then what does it mean to you? I know this is nth as compared to what you have done for me. Yes, I appreciated all your help for me & all that youve done for me. You were there at times when I needed help badly, in terms of financially or even serious helps. You did paitao some of your trainings which are one of your top priorities, just to spend time with me. You walked all th way to my estate, just to meet me. And at times even when youre tired after your training, you would still meet me. All these may mean nth to you, but these little things that youve done for me are th ones that I truly appreciate. I dont need you to present me with gifts or whatsoever when we meet. I dont need you to dress up nicely everytime we meet. I dont even need you to look perfect cause I love you just th way you are. And yes, I have to thank you for appreciating th way I am too cause youre th only guy who have seen me at my worst & dont really mind about th way I look, like how selekeh I always am when Im outside.
I have to admit that you can be considered as a patient guy cause youve tolerate many of my nonsense for th past 5 years. Indeed I was unreasonable most of th time, but so are you. We were both stubborn, not that understanding, selfish & many more. But we never really left as much as we claimed we wanted to, though we've split up several times. You see, you are a part of me & I really couldnt imagine not having you in my life. Not really literally though. As in I couldnt imagine if youre not alive anymore, cause as long as you still are, atleast Im assured that youre still around somewhere though youre not with or near me. Not trying to curse, but I can bet with you that I'll drunk myself in sorrow if youre not around anymore.
I need to stop blabbering now though Ive got lots on my mind. But I really hope that things between us can change for th better. I know we can, but it takes two hand to clap. If we both cooperate & really try, I believe we can be happy just like before, just like th times where nothing else really matters. We used to be so happy together, so what happened now? I admit that I cant really forget all th hurtful things that youve said & that had happened between us, but I cant forget our memories even more, especially you. No other guys ever mean this much to me other than you, and Im sure that youre aware of that. Its just that at times, I really dont know how to convince you anymore. And I do secretly wish that you feel th same about me too & if you really do, somehow you'll try showing it. But I understand that youre not th romantic sort, therefore I'll just make do with this. Been doing so anyway right? Now that I know part of your insecurities, I hope things will really change. Im sure we can do better than this. All we need is trust, faith & patience. I know its hard since we've gone through a lot but trust me, I'll never give up on us cause it would be a waste to give everything up just like that after all that we've been through.
So tell me. If all these isnt for th sake of love, then what does it mean to you? And not to forget, havent I always loved you?
You'll always be a part of me. Labels: Havent I Always Loved You?, Ure like a tattoo that I cant remove
01:12
I try to tell myself that it's really over That it's just to late for me to go back there Need to walk away, need to keep my pride, on with my life Gettin' sick and tired of this situation Somethin' deep inside just can't seem to face it I'm not goin' back but somehow I can't say goodbye
Someone needs to tell my heart Get it to believe that it's over Tried and tried a thousand times I'm still here I can try to walk away but I only seem to end up nowhere I made up my mind that's the easy part... someone tell my heart
We went through the trials and the tribulations Til' I finally got tired of all the waiting, for you to come in, tell ya this was it, this I know I deserve better, than you gave me, I deserve better and it kills me, that i'm holdin' on, I need to be strong, let you go
Someone needs to tell my heart Get it to believe that it's over Tried and tried a thousand times I'm still here I can try to walk away but I only seem to end up nowhere I made up my mind that's the easy part..someone tell my heart
Someone tell my heart, I don't love you if I can't convince myself, I just don't know what i'm gonna do, what i'm gonna do
Someone needs to tell my heart Get it to believe that it's over Tried and tried a thousand times I'm still here I can try to walk away but I only seem to end up nowhere I made up my mind that's the easy part... someone tell my heart
Thanks Dayana. :D Labels: Lyrics
00:59
Monday, June 21, 2010
 What happened to working it out?
Idk what telah happen to us. Idk what to do with us. Wanna do anything also cannot cause everything will be th same once we're back to normal again. I mean I know quarelling / bickering or whatever that has got to do with it are inevitable. But too much of it can be very tiring for us also. So I guess its like tkd maknenye kn trying to work things out when we know better what or how th ending would be? But then, it doesnt hurt to try. We've tried many times before, so why not try again? Or maybe we just cant make it together? Aiyoi, stress sungguh. Yes, Im still as stubborn as ever. Tried to make things better but to no avail. Well, it takes two hands to clap anyway. Again, whatever will be will be. I guess I have to take a break from all these shit cause its really draining me. But I really hope that somehow, things will get better. I know what I want & I can be patient for as long as I want to. But please let me know if you think there wont be any benefit from these & if Im wasting my time. & why arent we talking much? I miss you terribly. :[
Cause I aint giving up on us. Labels: Havent I Always Loved You?
01:22
     
Hello wello human of th earth. Had a family picnic yesterday at East Coast Park. Was okay laa, except that it could be better if more of my cousins were around. But nevermind, da lepas anw. Obviously, they had some plans & games. Participated in th games, which turns out to be almost th same as th previous's picnic's game. So mendak. Just played all th way & we won th second place. Okay laa tu laa kn. Dulu kite da menang first, so nevermind. But th prize so sengket cause dapat biskut & kopi. Hahahaha, tu mane mane pn boleh beli seh. But tkpe, better than nth. -.- Overall okay laa. But could be better. Bus-ed home. Then at nenek's house I slept till 7 gitu cause very tired. After that, walked home. Thats all nyeh. Malas nk tulis panjang panjang. Off to sleep now, toodloons peepos. Pics check out at Shiykin's fb yo. But nth much laa actually. Heh. Labels: ecp, For fun, Tired
01:11
Sunday, June 20, 2010
 
Its not that I believe in all these stuffs, but just being random & checking mecking cause Ive got nth better to do. Hehe. But if its partly true, then its so saddening yo! Hopefully its not cause I wanna marry this Leo guy when Im older (tak tau malu siket). Hahahaha. [: Labels: Bleah
21:14
Taurus is a Fixed Earth sign, ruled by Venus. As the second sign in the zodiac, the Taurus individual is a stable, conservative, home-loving individual who will always make a loyal friend or partner. The Taurus personality is one of the most easily recognizable of the zodiac. These are steady, reliable people who only rarely get frazzled or upset. Like a bull, the Taurus personality will almost never lose course and will remain level no matter what chaos surrounds him. Taurus knows his own strength but usually handles situations with dignity and self-control. Push him too far, though, and the Taurus individual can suddenly turn into a raging bull, and once this happens, he will be difficult to calm. And oh yes, lest we forget, the Taurus individual is stubborn - the most stubborn of all the zodiac signs. Once he forms an opinion, he is immovable, and nothing will change his mind. Taurus likes the good life, but tends to be careful with money, slowly building up wealth as he goes. Not all Taureans are rich, but you won't find many at the very bottom of society. If you have found a romantic partner in a Taurus, you have a sensual, luxury-loving, loyal lover. Don't expect anything spontaneous out of the blue from your Taurean, but you can definitely expect a nice gift to come right on time on every birthday or anniversary. Taurus will take courtship and dating slowly and methodically, and there is nothing you can do to speed them up, but once committed, they will stay committed through thick and thin. Taurus is loyal, sometimes to extremes, and they expect the same of you, so don't play games under any circumstances. Taurus will usually assume the lead in partnerships, so a willingness to be flexible is a must with this sign. Taurus in any relationship is stoic, stable, and dependable. These are the folks we go to for support. when we are in a crisis. However, as the most stubborn sign in the zodiac, you will find that your Taurus friend can often be maddeningly inflexible and unable to see any view but his own. However, if you can avoid those types of situations, the Taurean friend will be a loyal one who will enjoy nights out on the town in nice bars and restaurants, and who is good with his hands and will be willing to help with any tasks you are unable to do yourself. His house and yard will be well-appointed and comfortable, and he will likely be well-set financially, if not overtly wealthy. Just remember, that with Taurus, the by-words are stable and reliable, and you can hardly go wrong by choosing a Taurus friend! :D Labels: random
02:42
Friday, June 18, 2010
Its like wishing for a miracle to happen | Go to post ➜
 Game 3
 Game 2
 Game 1
Yoha. Day spent with Izdi & Wati yesterday. Went to Arena for game of bowling, since its cheap there. We're not cheapskate, its a good deal. Hehehe. Th place was rather empty cause only us were there. So in other words, we had th whole place to ourselves. Me likey. Th game ended early cause we played relatively fast I guess? After that, had 3 games of pool. I swear Im such a noobin this cause Izdi is way better than me though that was her first time, as she claimed. Ate at Burger King, then bus-ed home. Overall, had a great day. Would be better if there were many others around. Hee.
After much waiting, I finally get to meet you. But unfortunately, it things didnt end well. I know whats your point, but all I want is to be with / next to / near you. Like Ive said, I dont care what we're doing or whatsoever. Im just content if I get to meet you. I understand that youre having attachment now, therefore you will be tired & some other days, you will have rugby training. So I guess th tiredness will double? Im not expecting you to meet me everyday, neither do I expect you to contact me every single time. All I want is just a bit of your time, thats all. Is that too much to ask for? Is it too demanding of me to 'request' you to just spent some little bit time with me whenever youre free? Idk why, but I have th feeling that you really have changed. Youre just different now. Youre not th guy that I used to know back then & hell, this is really saddening. I know you dont care, seriously. Idk what to say anymore & even if I do, I doubt it will even make any difference anymore. Pathetic. :(
& tears are words th heart cant express. Labels: It hurts so bad, It might kill me.
17:06
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Hello. As planned, watched Nightmare at Elm Street with Ateeqs just now. Th movie was okay laa, boleh tahan. But not as good as Drag Me To Hell. Many good movies are coming up. I so wanna watch! Haha. And Idk why, just now Im like belo like that. Ateeqs said Im like mak nenek ever since my hair short. Sodeh. :/ Nevertheless, enjoyed my day just now. Banyak bende mepek telah happened. Unfortunately, Ateeqs didnt managed to save th video. Nyehaha, me likey! Okay, thats all I guess? Cant wait for tmrw yo. Ohya, Ive learnt smth new today. Nk amek gambar, kene kate "1, 2, 3. Say meow~" (inside joke) Hahahahaha. Okay, toodloons peepos. Labels: movie
23:45
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Hello wello human of th earth. After much blabbering & nonsense-ing, Ive finally decided to cut my hair. Sadding, cause I still think that I look better with long hair. But nevermind, skali skale try smth new ape salahnye laa kan? Hahaha. And I like th result. Therefore, I want to keep my hair short until lepas Hari Raya. Hehehe. Hari Raya finish then I keep long again ye. Nyehaha. Will start assignment-ing some time this week? But not sure when. Okay yo, many plans coming up. Tak sabar yo. Toodloons.
Every moment that is stolen, it can never be replaced. Labels: whatever you like
14:31
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Im very lethargic. Im sleep deprived, serious shit. Bye. Labels: Tired
01:24
Friday, June 11, 2010
Yoha. Firstly, happy 19th birthday to Baby Ele! Wahh seh, kite da tk same age lagi. Now kau da older drpd aku. But nevermind, kau stakat tue umur je. In terms of height, kite maseh same. Hehehe. Anihu, have a wonderful birthday & enjoys later. *winks*
Like finally, Im done with th two assignments that have been taking up so much of my time that Im sleep deprived now. Seriously, Im very tired. Thanks many many to Shiykin for helping me out while I was taking a nap. Hehehe. And thanks to Syafiq also for helping me with some of th art pieces. Sayang korg many many yo. [: Im so gonna sleep in when I have th time. Not forgetting, complete another assignment which will be due when school reopens. Wahh seh. Labels: Havent I Always Loved You?, holiday, whatever you like
13:50
Wednesday, June 09, 2010
  
Hello wello. As mentioned previously, had a bowling session for all th ECH students. It was great & fun laa overall, just that th earlier part was kinda pfft-ing cause we actually took th wrong bus. Then th bus driver stopped us at ITE Balestier. And it actually took him so long to get us to th place cause he keep pusing pusing. Aiyoi. But nevermind, atleast we did reach there ultimately. We had th whole place to ourselves. Woohoo, gerek or what? Just that it was kinda crowded uh. But overall, me likey! Been a while since I last played bowling anyway, somemore with my friends & their never-ending craps. Nyehaha. [: Trained home when that thingy ends. Will be assignment-ing for as long as I can. Everything needs to be done by Friday morning. Aiyoi. All th best laa eh. Hahaha. Will upload th pics when I can. Its kinda irritating cause Ive been trying to do so, but somehow it will get stuck halfway. Testing my patience sungguh. Okay thats all yo.
Its good to see you again. Do you even know how very much I missed you?
Labels: bowling, fun, me likey
22:04
Monday, June 07, 2010
Hello wello. Will be busy with my 2 assignments for th whole of this week. So leceh tahap max but nevermind, I know I can do it. Just need to put aside th 'nevermind' attitude for a few days only. Hahaha. Cant wait for Wednesday though, cause got bowling. Hehe. And th weekends too. After that, holiday~ [: Labels: whatever you like
19:25
Sunday, June 06, 2010
 
Yoha. Yesterday teman-ed Ateeqs cut hair pat Teban. Kiud miud seh tu anak. Macam budak kecik. Hahaha. Then off to Marina cause they wanna shopping mopping abit. Too bad I no money. Klau tak da join. Hahaha, but nevermind. Got dunno what Doraemon thingy. Ade Nobita & Sizuka pulak tu. Wasted Dayana didnt tag along. Kalau tk, she can amek gambar with them. Hahahaha. Anw, wait till Syamil dtg, then head to Peninsula. Saw Chan with his family. Haha. After that went Starbucks at Fullerton there to do my stuffs & just lepak. After that, balek. Malas nk elaborate banyak banyak. Haha. Gonna spend th day at home today to finish up my art pieces. Yeahhy. Toodloons yo. [:
& theres no getting over you. Labels: whatever you like
01:38
Friday, June 04, 2010
21:22
Thursday, June 03, 2010
I dont wanna lose my love | Go to post ➜
00:52
Wednesday, June 02, 2010
Hello wello human of th earth. As usual, I went to school late again. And I happily missed th lecture. Hahaha. But not really laa actually, cause Ms M still lectured me about th important stuffs. So, yeah. And apparently, I have been coming to school very late for th past few weeks & I guess its quite bad now, since it is becoming a habit. I cant seem to be able to wakeup early anymore. Dahsyat kan? Aiyoi. And anw, Ms M purposely made me & Shekyn to be th class monitress. I dont want! Me no likey at all! :( This means that I can no longer come to school late / skip any morning lessons cause I need to be in school at 8 everyday to take attendance. Tak fair nye. Nk resign boleh? Hahaha. And its a serious offence for me to come late. So, I guess I just have to kiss goodbye to waking up late. Sedih sungguh.
On th brighter side, went to accompany Dayana take her pay at her workplace after school. Th tak best part is, we waited for arnd 2 hours plus cause th boss is always missing. Sekejap sungguh die pnye "back in 10 minutes". Hahaha, serious shit. But nevermind, atleast I enjoyed cekik-ing yummy food. Hehehe. Was supposed to teman Ateeqs go cut hair pat Teban. But due to some unforeseen circumstances, that plan tak jadi. Then kite pnye belo pi tawaf pat MRT. Hahaha, not literally laa. I just dunno how to put it in th correct sentence structure. Okay nevermind, it goes like this. From Farrer Park, Dayana & I trained to Outram to meet Ateeqs. Then from there, we go our separate ways cause Dayana wanno go Bugis. So, Ateeqs & I took th train towards Joo Koon & while in th train, we found out that Dayana may be going to Bugis alone since her boyf will be late. So, we alighted at Tiong Bahru & patah balek to Outram Park to meet with Dayana. Alighted there & waited for Dayana. But we thought that she took next train, so we took it also in case she was in th some other cabins. But apparently, shes still at Outram Park platform, waiting for us. Hahaha. So we alighted at Tanjong Pagar & trained back to Outram Park again to meet her. HAHAHA. Belo tahap max kan? Mengalahkan lawak antarabangsa siol. Hahahaha. Trained to Somerset cause they wanna do some shopping. Maklumlah, gaji da masuk laa kan. Hahaha. Then off to Bugis to shopping mopping also. After that makan, then trained home. Thats all folks. I like! Hahaha, but Im so not looking forward to tmrw. Bleah. :/ Labels: whatever you like
23:54
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