Wednesday, March 30, 2011Ive decided to privatize my blog due to some reasons like privacy among family members, freedom of speech & few others. Might be temporary though, so I shall see how it goes. And whatever that youve read here, please keep it to yourself. I trust you enough to invite you. Thank you very nice.  I cant say much here but yeah, smth scary yet interesting happened to my sister. Before that, some arguments took place between her & one of my brother which is rather scary yet funny at th same time. Because earlier on, my sister was rather unhappy with my brother regarding something, so she let it all out on her facebook wall. Apparently, she blocked my brothers so theres no way that they can view it right. But she forgot that this brother of mine love to log in his girlf's account & my sister have his girlf in her friend list. So as expected, he log into her account & saw whatever that my sister wrote on her wall. Obviously he was unhappy. Th funny part is, my brother called her from outside & ask her "whats this?". Then my sister look at th screen & said "nothing", run quickly to th room & locked th door. Hahahahaha. So dramatic. But at th moment, its scarier than funny okay. So my brother keep banging th door, etc cause he was fuming mad. My sister told me to call my parents for help & sadly, they didnt answer th phone. So I called my another brother instead. To cut th story short, my parents reached home moments later & as expected, my brother told whatever shit to my parents & my sister got a scolding from father. I dont really understand my family la actually, cause my father said smth about confiding in them whenever we have any problems or whatever shit, instead of posting it on th net or smth. But have they actually think, in th first place, do they even understand us? Do they even understand whats on our mind? Its like, whats th point of confiding, letting them know whats on my or our mind, when we know better that we're gonna get a scolding or some unnecessary remarks which wont help, at all. So I guess its better to just let it out somewhere, or to someone else. Cause I guess my parents cant be my friend too, as much as they want to. Continue, my sister cried so hard that her fingers & everything all went numb. So numb that she cant even move both her arms & legs. My younger brother, mother & I was already crying because its just scary to see this happening to her. Both of her fists was clenched damn tightly & her arms were bent, but she can barely move. Okay I shouldnt say much here but thats what happened to my sister & it took us close to an hour to actually make everything normal again cause parts of her body just went stiff & cramp again when some other parts were okay already. And it just repeats that way. Even so, shes still trembling now. Hopefully, everything will be okay in th future & it wont happen again. Then again, unforeseen circumstances like this do happen & I guess we'll just have to expect th unexpected. Thats life anyway right? Still, I cant imagine if she were to remain that way. Say, no one was around in th house or no matter how hard we tried, she still remain that stiff. I really cant imagine. But thank god, shes fine now & I hope she'll remain that way for a long period of time. Hahaha. No, seriously. And yeah, theres something else that I found out when this happened to my sister, but I guess some things are better left said. So that way it shall be. [: Now that all these had happened, I just feel that my family is unsafe. Things are really gonna be different for my family in th future. How like that? :/ Labels: Family, Some things are better left unsaid
Tuesday, March 29, 2011 Always remember, pain makes people change. So dont hurt them when you dont want them to change. Can you like just ask yourself, why do you always react negatively when youre mad when it comes to me? For once, can you just like be understanding and just tell me that it doesnt matter and everything's okay & I dont have to feel bad about it or whatsoever. Its not my fault that it happened. I dont even wish for it to happen in th first place. So when it comes to me, why cant you just try to be reasonable and understand? Like youve said, maybe I expected too much from you, which is true. I did because I know that youre capable of doing so. I know how capable you are. Then again, I have to remember ; Just because Im willing to do all these, just because I can endure and go through all these shit & pain, doesnt mean that he can do th same when it comes to me. And Im aware that youre no good for me. Im aware. Youre aware. Everyone knows. But I wonder, why do I even bother to stay? When will I ever know? And most importantly, when will I ever learn?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - "To let go isnt to forget, not think about, or ignore. It doesnt leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. Letting go isnt winning, and it isnt losing. Its not about pride, its not about how you appear, and its not obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isnt blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts and doesnt leave emptiness, hurt, or sadness. Its not giving in or giving up. Letting go isnt about loss, and its not defeat. To let go is to cherish memories, and overcome and move on. Its having an open mind and confidence in the future. Letting go is accepting. It’s learning, experiencing and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow. It’s about all that you have, all that you had, and all that you will soon again. Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up. It’s realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door, to clear a path, and to set you free." In other words, I cant let go still. Yet. & supposedly 53rd yesterday. I miss you. I miss us. But its gone. MANAGE ME. IM A MESS. ONE LOST & CONFUSED HUMAN. Labels: I miss you, Its not suppose to feel this way, self-destruction
Sunday, March 27, 2011 Love leaves a memory that no one can steal but sometimes, it leaves a heartache that no one else can heal. Trying to make it work but man, these times are hard. Labels: Its not suppose to feel this way
Thursday, March 24, 2011Unreasonable shit. Dont you have your own life to take care of? Ive never bothered with yours cause Im expecting you to do th same when it comes to me. Youve been through what Im going through, so you should at least what, understand? Tsk. Fucking unfair okay. Just my luck to have this kind of ______. Like seriously eh, zaman bile ni skrg? -_- Labels: Unreasonable
Wednesday, March 23, 2011Know what? You should really stop using people's things as though its yours. Okay, more to MY things. Because you have to remember that its NOT yours & before you even use, you have to ask because its just basic courtesy. Common sense kay? I dont mind if you wanna use it but definitely NOT on th day where I wanna use it too. You should fucking know this by now right! Annoying shit. Da kasi muke, naek kepale. Tsk. Labels: irritating
Tuesday, March 22, 2011 Whatever happens to us, you will always have a place in my heart. Thats for sure. [: Labels: Havent I Always Loved You?
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