I cant help but to apologise about whatever that had happened.

It sucks to be feeling this way, where it seems like youre one of th reason why a couple broke up. When all your intention was to help one of them as a friend but inevitably, th other party feels jealous & insecure, because thats just how a girl is.

I have no idea why Im feeling this way even because I was clearly helping him as a friend & nothing more than that. But when I found out how miserable she was for th past few days, I just felt guilty. Not that Ive done anyth wrong or whatever, but I guess, really, I should have known.

Sucks to be feeling this way. Really.

:/

Its rather ridiculous to give a silent treatment / cold shoulder to someone youre close with, just because you lost an argument. Well, in this case, about cats. Seriously? Without considering how th other party will feel about all these mistreatment, you just went ahead with whatever unhappiness that youre feeling. While th other party, on th other hand, was so stressed up about everything, wondering why th texts & posts werent even replied. And that unhappiness itself had cause some promises to be broken, just like that.

And I know that Im in no position to say anyth or got myself involved with this. Then again, if you were to give him th attention that he needed, would he even have to turn to another friend to confide in? Its just not fair. I really hate to know about people or a person getting mistreated by others because I know how it feels like. And obviously, its nothing nice. Not nice at all, to be neglected, feeling unwanted and everyth. Then again, I guess if some were to allow their emotions & ego to control everything, then nothing is impossible right? Th silent treatment may drag to days & sometimes, turn into another... i dont know? Just some unforeseen circumstances.

Nevertheless, I apologise if partly, it was my fault. I should have known how very insecure a girl can get, if her other half were to be talking to another girl. As much as we both know our limits, somehow, th insecurities, as well as th jealousy will always be there. And th feeling sucks, definitely. But rest assured, I was only lending a listening ear, not literally. Nothing more than that, definitely.

Doubt you'll be reading this but Im really sorry okay. You dont know how bad I felt about this whole thing. Then again, my conscience is clear. Theres really nothing for me to hide.

If only you knew how very much he loves you.

Because I know how it feels like to be lied to and th feeling sucks, obviously. And I dont think anyone deserves to be lied to.

Therefore, Im really sorry. Im sorry for bothering more about what youre gonna think of me if I were to tell you th reason honestly. Im sorry that I cancelled it last minute, when I know that everyone is already excited (i think) about this shit.

:(

Well I know when it comes to this, Im never a good friend. Ive never been one, in fact. Eh wait, am I even a friend? Haha. You know, its like expecting / wanting people to be nice to you when on th other hand, you were th one who treat others like shit? Taking them for granted & everything? Yeah.

And I dont know why of all th rest, its you that I feel comfortable with, to apologise to & etc. Yes, we're not that close & I'll never be as close as how you were with th rest. Because somehow, I just feel that I dont fit in. Im forever with my stupid relationship shit & everybody knows if it affects me, it really affects me. And I guess thats just one of th annoying shit that always happen right? And maybe because youre just so easy-going about anything, in spite of all th thinkings that you did, I just felt that youre th most reasonable one. Not saying that th rest are not, but thats just what I felt.

And of course, its nobody's fault but mine. Its because I chose this. Oh well. I guess I'll never be a good friend. Maybe theres just something about me, something about my attitude that will somehow push people away. That sucks, but oh well. Its only life.

*shrugs*

Perhaps, Im not a good friend afterall.

Then again, since when was I even a good friend? I never was. And I will never be.

And yes, I have this habit of not forgetting everything that hurts, that ever happened to me. Because for sure, theres no way that I will ever forget it since it has affected me in one way or another. I can forgive, but I dont ever forget.

Im sorry if it hurts.

However, I cant promise that it wont happen again. I dont even make promises.

Woopeee!~

Im so glad that things are fine between us now.

:D

Still, Im sorry for th perangai yesterday.

I really really didnt mean it seh. I didnt mean to make you feel so bad / guilty / whatsoever.

I didnt mean to ignore you ke ape. I didnt mean to stay mad at you for long.

But I just dunno what to say to you.

Im not good at controlling my emotions, obviously.

Yes, I was kinda mad at you for wanting to do that. I was upset that you made such decision.

But entahlaa, I just dont know.

Whatever it is, Im really really sorry okaay?

In th future, I'll try th best that I could not to make you unhappy / whatsoever anymore okaay?

Sorry banyak-banyak yeee, kambeng.

{:

Anyway, we still havent got our pay yet. AIYOI!

-.-

Hopefully, dapat nari seh.

If not, how are we supposed to go on with our plan tmrw?

Sigh.

P/S See, I cant get over you now no matter what I do.