Everyone is a friend, until they prove otherwise.

Its somehow true when people say that time will slowly reveal everything cause for my case, it did. Its only natural that people judge others based on first impression right? And usually, I got negative feedbacks like Im a minah, etc. Its fine with me cause thats what people see me as anyway. They dont know me. So its not my problem if they were to judge me. This is not my point actually, so whatever.

People who actually observe & really observe, will notice that I dont have a lot of friends. Fuck th 4000 plus friends on facebook, cause I honestly dont talk to every single one of them. Im not even friendly in th first place, so isnt that such an irony? Still, Im glad that I still have some close friends & very few ones that I can really click with, or those who I can tell almost everything to. But its still hard in a way, cause friends come & go. One moment, we can talk about anything in th world & th next moment, its like theres nth to talk about. Maybe there are things to talk about, but either one of us is just not in th mood. Or maybe, just not interested in th conversation anymore. So if that happens, its not supposed to be call friend anymore right? More to acquaintance or something like that, idk? Haha. What nonsense am I spouting? I dont even know whats my point. Hahahaha! Okay okay. Hmm, even if we were to click, we can never totally understand each other. Each of us have our own different mindset & beliefs anyway, so I guess thats how things work. Opposites attract? Haha.

So my point is, Im seriously not like how people think I am. No one can understand me completely, cause I myself dont know me. One moment I can be so hyper / keep nonsense-ing & prangai so childish, which is th total opposite of how I look like, yet another moment I can be such a bitch. Yes, I do talk behind people's back whenever Im unhappy. Im quite rude. Im sarcastic. I can be so blunt & straightforward, and its only sometimes that I spare a thought of people's feelings. I say what I have in mind, as much as I try to 'filter' it. I do insult others. In other words, Im ugly on th inside. Haha. Pathetic much? Im like slowly revealing my true colours so that people who claim that they know me will actually realise what type of person I am. And its up to them if they still wanna befriend this kind of person, cause I think Im not a good friend afterall. Who needs this kind of friend anyway right? Like I dont even deserve to be called a friend. Not to forget, I am selfish too.

I is sad to be th person that I am now. Th arrogance & all th negative characteristics that I have is just fucking ugly. I dont like. Seriously. But I dont believe in trying to be someone whom Im not either, so what can I do? I guess this is how I am. I dont go around, pretending to be friendly when Im know that Im not. I dont go around smiling at people cause thats just not th way I am. And I dont befriend just anyone cause I believe in this thing ; You dont make friends, you earn them. In other words, I just dont like to pretend or maybe, Im just insecure. Forget it.

Bottomline is, I just dislike th way that I am now & Im not a good friend. Ive changed, I guess?

To all th people who have been hurt with my harsh words or bluntness, Im sorry. And those who have been my friend, thank you for whatever that youve dont for or to me, be it good or bad. Random much? Haha, sape tau besok aku mati ke ape. Klau aku tak banyak dosa tkpe jugak. Hahaha.

Toodloons.