No need to inhale a steak on a man’s account, but we love women of all shapes —

with bodies & legs & soft things to hold on to —

and it takes food to get that way.

You don’t have to meticulously groom down there for us.

At th end of the day, its your vagina & you should give it whatever haircut you want. But “extreme maintenance” should be th name of a reality show on TLC, not smth that you do to your body.

Men have a range of tastes, everything from full monty to landing strip to a grown-out seventies bush. If its that important for your guy to be with the ridiculously clipped, stripped & shaved women of online porn & youre far from interested in going there, simply point him toward the computer & tell him to feel free to help himself.

Doing everything together is a tried-and-true path to resentment (and breakups). My most recent ex made an effort to be friends with my friends, which I appreciated, but it got to a point where she expected to be invited when we went out.

The problem wasn’t her interest in my life—

your guy probably loves it when you stop by his boxing class or help with work problems—

it was that we hadnt figured out how to set limits. Thats why my new model couple are my buddies Jasmine and Tyrone. They know totally different people, but instead of one cramming their life into the others, they go out separately—

and catch up over breakfast.

You don’t have to become Jenna Jameson when the bedroom door shuts.

Sex isnt some game you win by constantly pushing yourself and your (or his) boundaries.

Says Charles, 28, from Boston: “My girlfriend was really into trying this move from the Kama Sutra. In order to get it done, all of my focus turned to balance, abdominal clenching and other nonsexual, lifesaving things. Not fun.”

What about all those porny bedroom antics you think we daydream about? They boil down to just that: antics.

Take deep-throating. Is it something we enjoy? Hell yes.

But do we like seeing you gag? Hell no.

Unless it’s a natural-born talent (or an interest) of yours, we’re happy to cross that off our wish list.

I would never pretend that we don’t care about the way you look. That said, a couple of things either get totally lost on our radar or completely freak us out (eyelash curlers?!).

Exhibit A: beaucoup makeup. No man in history has ever complained that a woman wasn’t wearing enough makeup. As for hair, good luck finding a guy who notices “chunky, buttery pro highlights.” And perfectly executed blowouts? For us it’s not about whether your hair is curly, straight or wavy; all we’re concerned about is whether or not we’ll be running our hands through it at midnight.

You don’t have to be the daughter my parents never had.

No use in upsetting a family’s delicate balance by going overboard with affection or baked goods. Ive made th mistake of playing along with family jokes: It’s one thing when they teased her grandma, but when I did, it became “Why does Whatshisname hate Gammy?” Play it safe.

Save the grand gestures until after the nuptials.

I could write this entire article about how much I like boobs. I just like saying the word.

Boobs, boobs, boobs, boobs.

I like them in a sweater. I like them pressed up against me. I like them just sitting there, all awesome and booblike.

Please quit it with the accoutrements, the corsets, the push-ups and definitely the cutlets.

And in recessionary times, isnt it nice to know there’s no need to break the bank?

We’re already sold.

Taken from somewhere. Hahahah.